Soft heart

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally stumbles and bumps into a young man beside him and as he does, his elbow goes hardly into the young man's butts.

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to the young man and says, "Sir, if your heart is as soft as your bums, I know you'll forgive me."

The young man replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

Hot stuff

Going to confession

A guy goes to confession at St. Patrick's uptown and explains to the priest that he'd given another guy a blowjob in the park the day before.

The priest huffs and mumbles a bit and tells him "Say 100 Hail Marys and kneel on rice for an hour". With a sigh, the guy leaves to do his penance.

The next weekend he spends in the French Quarter and on Sunday morning he goes to St. Louis Cathedral, right in the middle of it. He enters the confessional and tells the priest "I gave 4 guys blowjobs down on the river last night."

The priest sighs and says, "Oh, say a couple of Hail Marys and try to be a little better next week."

Surprised, the guy says "Wow - last week I only gave one blowjob and the priest at St. Pat's made me say 100 Hail Marys and kneel on rice for an hour!"

The St. Louis priest chuckles and says "Oh - what do those uptown priests know of love???"