Barracks Door

The manager hired a new secretary. He was young, smart, handsome and polite.

One day while taking dictation, he noticed the managers fly was open. When he was leaving the room, he courteously said,

"Oh, by the way sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?"

The manager did not understand the secretary's remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee. Calling him in, he asked,

"By the way Mr. Coetzee, when you saw my barracks door open, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?"

The secretary, who was also quite witty, replied,

"Why no, sir. All I saw was a little, disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

50th Aniversary

Two elderly lovers were celebrating their 50th anniversary, with a friend at the bar.

The friend suggests they return to the little town where they first met. "I'll drive you" he offers, "you guys are always talking about the place, it would be nice to go back and visit". So off they go.

They sat in a small coffee shop in the town and were telling the friend about their love for each other and how they met at this same spot.

The friend smiled as the old couple spoke.

One old boy turns to his lover and says, "Remember the first time we made love, it was up in that field across the road, when I put you against the fence. Why don't we do it again for old times sake?"

His lover giggled like crazy and said, "Sure, why not."

So they went out the door and across to the field. The friend smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was and decided he better keep an eye on the couple so they didn't run into any harm. The old couple walked to the field and as they approached the fence they began to undress.

One old man picked up his lover when they were naked and leaned him against the fence. The friend was watching from the bushes and was surprised at what he saw. With the vitality of youth, one old boy bounced up and down excitedly, while the other lover thrashed around like a wild man, then they both fell to the ground in exhaustion.

Eventually, they stood up, shook themselves, and got dressed.

As they walked back towards the road, the friend stepped from his hiding spot and said, "That is the most wonderful love making I have ever seen. You must have been a wild couple when you were young."

"Not really," said one old man, "when we were young, that fence wasn't electric."

Home for Lunch

An exquisite painting, entitled "Home for Lunch", was on display in a Pennsylvania erotic gay art gallery. It depicted three very naked and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.

Two men were standing there, staring at the painting, scratching their heads, and trying to figure the painting out. The artist walked by and noticed the men's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked.

"Well, yes" said the one man. "We were curious about the picture of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"

"Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misinterpreted the painting. The three men are not African-Americans. They're Pennsylvania coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went "Home for Lunch."

Christmas Party

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his lover put some coffee in front of him.

"Andy," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," Andy assured him in his most scornful tone. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."

"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"

"You did. All over his suit," Andy informed him. "And he fired you."

"Well, fuck him," said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

© by Ken Wood, original cartoon drawing, 7 x 11", ca. 1970s. Published in Drummer magazine.