Q. - What's the difference between a lover and a job?

A. - After 5 years, the job still sucks!

Question of Size

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army. His lover, Wally, is really worried about his man being unfaithful, so he asks him to tattoo his name to his penis....He agrees, and does so. When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y. Wally, feeling secure knowing that his name is tattooed on his lover's penis says good-bye to his lover as he leaves for Jamaica.

One day, while in Jamaica the guy is at this urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him...The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican,

"WOW , that's really interesting I guess you have a lover named Wally too."

And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says, "Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"

Q. - What's the definition of a dildo?

A. - A meat substitute.

Superman!

The dentist was surprised to see three broken teeth in the mouth of the handsome male model.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I was giving head to this reporter named Clark Kent, and BAMM!, his prick turned to steel."

Q. - What do you call a gay bar without any bar stools?

A. - A Fruit Stand.

So precious!

Two women were walking down the street when they saw two homosexuals kissing passionately.

"Ugh," one woman said to the other, "That's disgusting. They ought to ship every one of those queers to some island, so we wouldn't have to look at them."

"They can't do that," the other woman said, "Then we'd all have to cut our own hair and decorate our own apartments."

New customer in a Gay Bar

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar and says "Good, but I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says "Look, I'm just not into that. All I want is a drink." The gay waiter says "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."

So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks "hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The gentleman with a smile looks back and says "TIMEX." The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"

A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a margarita. "So, what do you call your penis?" The other gentleman turns to him and proudly exclaims "FORD." The customer thinks how this naming thing works and says, "Because quality is Job 1..?" The gentleman replies, "No. Let me ask you, Have you driven a Ford, lately?"

Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is Secret. Now give me my beer."

The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?" The customer says "Strong enough for a man and not made for a woman."